Monday, January 30, 2012

Humble Pie tastes like a Mocha Frapachino


Right, which would you rather have?


(ME): I’m from Texas, I lived in Korea last year, and I got into graduate school while in Indonesia, I live in Austin, and I’m moving to Australia in February.

(UT-Director of the Counseling Department): Woah.

(ME): Yah, its been a messed up year.


I didn't say 'messed.'




This is a bench right outside of the hospital.
I would take a break between moving to Australia (read: work) and my job, which I get paid for.

...thank god for iced coffee.

Right, so November 19th 2011, I finally translated all the experiences I had in Korea into this same text box I type into now.


I found it impossible to explain the sheer, adrenaline, I had flying down a black diamond in Muju, riding across the country, teaching little munchkins, getting into graduate school in Australia, all while having one of the most amazing life experiences of all time.


It was hard to explain what it was like shifting gears on a bike, through a keyboard.

Needless to say I’ll do my best this time, but, without the motorcycle part.


November 2010: Moved back to Texas, found 3 denial letters from American Universities. Moved in with my sister, brother-in-law, and niece, then started the arcane and ambigious task of moving to Australia.

December 7th, 2011, Got an email: Notre Dame has canceled all American financial aid. Right, so guess I’ll look at Wells Fargo (read: all banks) loans. Basically that one email meant that there was no way I could afford school, and, consequently, everything I worked for in Korea has slipped through my hands.

I got the email that I was accepted into Notre Dame right here: It was September of 2010.

Bali, Indonesia.

January 2011: Started my internship at a Psychiatric Hospital, worked at Starbucks to afford the internship - from teaching English in Korea...to working at Starbucks.

From: $2,300 USD / month, paid apartment, motorcycle, teaching 4 hours a day to...

to: ...starbucks, and as per 3 phone calls, Australia in Feb of 2011.

We’ll get to those phone calls later. But, I did get to meet an infomercial 'celebrity.'

Back to working at starbucks, (starbucks, read): humbling.

“I’m sorry that you’ve got to move to Korea so that you can move to Australia” I was restocking Apple juices sometime during my tenure at starbucks and I realised what it meant to go to Notre Dame of Australia: debt, and a lot of it.

Korea would have financed the loan, 55 a year isnt bad, but, its hard to take a loan with a 12.23% interest rate and 1000 dollar a month payments. Everything I worked so hard for in Korea is now, gone.

April 23rd, 2011: Quit starbucks. With, 5 days notice, which is why my boss got a 20 dollar gift-card to Specs.

April 28th, 2011: Started working at Psyche Hospital as a Clinical Assistant (CA). I work with Psyche patients; adults, adolescents, and children. Line staff like me (CA’s) have by far the most patient interaction out of the entire hospital due to the never ending paperwork and inordinate amount of responsiblities with Doctors, Nurses, and Social Workers.

July 8th, 2011: Applied to the University of Queensland and 4 other schools in Australia.

July 27th, 2011: Denied, Edith Cowan University. (that was a bit quick, no?)

August 22nd, 2011: My Unit closes due to budget problems. I start working with kiddos.

September 2011: Denied, La Trobe University.

September 28th, 2011: Inspired by the day I left for Korea 2 years prior, I decided to step up a bit at work and I want to run a social-work style group, but with out actually counseling these kiddos as the Social Workers do. I was going to run an educational group, just like I did in Korea, except these kiddos know English, makes my life a whole lot easier.

I remember it so well, I walked into that group with the same mentality as I did when I was in Korea – I’m just gonna wing it. Here’s my topic, and my lesson plan on an (actual) napkin. Those were usually the best classes I’ve ever taught, funny how it transpired to America.

October 4th, 2011: Accepted, UQ. (it took 987 emails to get accepted, damn near 1,000 emails).

December 22nd, 2011: Got my VISA, my Apartment, and bought a flight to Brisbane.



Exhaustion:

Working at a Psyche Hospital, and, getting to graduate school was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Don't forget, I taught English to Koreans, who didn't know English. That was pretty tough too.


Right. So. What’s next?


This was hard. Really hard. It took so many answers I didn’t have the question for, it took many trips to the University of Texas' International Admissions Department to talk to the right person. This took 2 years.

It took, many coffees, many countries, many beers, and a few ‘victory massages.’
It was hard working at Starbucks after living in Korea.


It was a pain in the ass to be honest.


I had three questions when I got into Notre Dame back in September of 2010, on the freaking beach in Bali.

I needed to know:


(1) Can I come back to America and Counsel?

(2) Can I get a PhD after? Will any American school recognize this degree?

(3) Can I get funding.


I needed to know if I could move to Australia, and let everything I worked for in Korea mean something. The upshot?


…2/3.


I can in-fact come back and counsel with a degree from Notre Dame, I can get a PhD, but I cannot get funding. 1 year, and, 5 months of work on that ended on this:


(Wells Fargo, et. al): “sir, I’m saying that if you take out a 60,000 dollar loan with us, than you will be paying $1000 a month, plus 12.23% interest, for 25 years. It's a bad idea, I'm sorry."


It has been a crazy ass year, and it went through many different days and life-changing phone calls.


I never thought I'd have these opportunities, to move to Australia for a degree, or to move to South Korea and teach English.


I remember going through all of the tasks required for this opportunity and just being exhausted beyond belief - but knowing its time to go to the hospital for a 3:00 to 11:00 shift. Its been a crazy year.


Back in April 2011, I remember looking down Burnett towards Mopac at the starbucks I worked at, and, I talked my self out of moving to Korea. I talked myself out of it because I knew at any day I would get a job at Psyche Hospital, or, get into school, or find a loan to the school I was already accepted to.


I didn't want to commit to a year in Korea if I was going to school in 11 months. It was a tough decision, every latte i made or trashbag i took out changed my mind just a little bit more...


I had a conversation a few times about it with people who I trust:


One of my best friends called Todd asked me the other day if I’m running from something – I assume he meant 'running from' a commitment to a continent (or a country for that matter, haha). I assume he meant that I was running away from growing up.


I didn't really know how to answer him at the time, but, another time...My brother-in-law said the jury is still out with this whole thing and I responded with:


"the kids I work with beg to differ"


My Dad validated it all today and said he was “damn proud” during burgers at the elusive Elevation Burger.


I called my Mom when I got the email that I was accepted into school and my iPod was on shuffle. "Make Me Proud" by Friends of Lizzy came on while I was talking to her, and, its almost as if Clay wrote that song for that one moment.


My Boss cried when I left.


My other Bosses on a different unit took me out drinking the other night and one of them, Kent, gave me an “everything will be alright” pep-talk. He tole me, "I've got this," and warmed up my cold feet. Its just weird being able to do something like this: move to freaking Australia for grad school. Its weird having these opportunities...and a chance to pass some sort of torch


#bad.ass.moment.at.baby.blues.on.my.last.day.at.work


Its weird to be into such a good school:


The University of Queensland is ranked 48th in the world overall and, 26th in the world in Psychology. The University is on the coast of Australia in a city of 2,043,185 Australian's and many foreigners. Notre Dame taught me what I want; to move to Australia. SAMA, the Hospital, and a social-worker-friend of mine, taught me the difference between want-and-will:


Story time: Said social-worker friend of mine had me run a group with the kiddos one time which was based on want-vs-will.


Basically: I want to play for the Dallas Cowboys, but, I am not willing to put in the effort to get there.


Apparently I am for Australia.


I want to move to Australia to get this degree and learn more, and, expand the body-of-work Obama speaks so highly of. I want to go get this degree and print out all those denial letters, for my corner office at UT someday.


Remember that list UQ is on? The one which says its 48th in the world overall, and 26th in the world Psyche? The schools I applied to and was denied from:


- Texas State,

- Houston,

- Pepperdine,

- UTSA,

- San Diego State,

- Indiana University – South Bend,

- North Texas,

- IUPUI,

- Florida Atlantic,

- James Madison,

- Florida State...


…aren’t on the list UQ is on.


Persistence: tastes like an iced coffee.

Victory: tastes like a shiner bock.


Live-high ya'll.




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