Introductions: Life between Byron Bay, Graduate School, and Train Schedules

Byron Bay is a beach city about 2 hours drive from Brisbane, its an epic place. 

The Arts Factory is a kick ass place, they've got a bar at the hostel. 

Well done Byron, well done.

Consistent with all my Australian beach trips, I had a hard time getting there: 

There was a bus one time, once in Australia, that left at 11 on a Friday. Then another bus also, that left at 2, then another bus at 4. I had class on that Friday from 9 to 5 and missed all of those buses.
I ended up hooking up with a 2 hour ride from an airport shuttle down to Byron, for about 5 bucks more than the 4 hour rides I missed on Friday. So, I guess I got a deal.

There was another time I had a bit of trouble getting to a beach: Sunshine coast.

I had read the train schedule as any logical person would - as a train schedule. However, said train schedule did not suggest that it may also double as a bus schedule. So my 9:03 train from Nabour was actually a bus that was leaving from the same depot. I thought I was reading a train schedule, and the 9:03 mark, would mean it was a train - I didn't see the * at the bottom of the page, ugh.

Good times. 

Other than the beach v. me, life is good.

One day I will figure the best, cheapest, and (ergo) easiest way out to a beach. One day.

Sunshine, and Byron were awesome despite the b.s. School is good; it keeps me interested, passionate, busy, and focused. The pig, cigarettes, and trips to the beach take away from that focus, and also put me in situations that don't agree with my journey for an advanced degree.

Those beach trips or nights out in Brizzy are fun though. I've met a bunch of really good people. (which is a big part of traveling).

I'm pretty sure UQ took over Byron for those days: 

 

 and i got to sleep in a jungle... 

Monday comes tomorrow, and I've got a week ahead of me. Likely four 18 hour days, but, that's life. A presentation, a quiz, and a video due that shows my counseling skills as of now. (read): exactly what I was doing at the hospital. A video of me and a client that I choose.

I like to be challenged as I am at Uni now (uni: college in Australian). I like, to be told I don't know what I'm talking about, and, have to defend my position. It reminds me of why I am in this whole thing. It's good to be introduced to two characters: one who says I will move to Australia, and one who says I won't. Its good to be forced to be successful.

Work hard, play hard.

Live high, ya'll.

Comsamneda: is 'thank you' in Kangarooian

Kangaroo Point: 

Brisbane. 

So, its 12:38 AM on a glorious Thursday night in Australia. My beer is cold, my bare feet rest on my beach chair, my computer is charged, and...my life is on fire. 

I'm a student again. Graduate School, quitting smoking, and...living in a foreign country. Bring it on.

Class this week good. I go Tuesday, Wednesdays, and Fridays. My class on Friday is 9-5, unlike my other three-classes which are 3 hours each from 5 to 8.


School is going to a grind. 8 hours a day, 6 days a week, me thinks. Its just like the hospital - minus the fecal filled bathtubs, the code browns, or the urine samples. The codes, the ER trips, the charts, the stress, or the insanity (literally).


Personal life will be fun too, I've met a bunch of great people. Mostly American-undergrads from Syracuse which is weird, but, whatever. 

The other night I was talking to some friends and we were kicking around the idea of why we came to Australia. Some for travel, some for school, some for both. We were at South Bank when we were talking about this

...downtown, at the river, on a beach.

 

I started thinking about why I took this risk. I thought about why I left Korea ages ago, left the hospital weeks ago, and why I chose to move to Australia. I really got into it and realised that I’m not here for the Sunshine Coast, or South Bank. I'm not here to buy a motorcycle and ride it cross country. I'm not here for skydiving New Zealand, or going to the opera house in Sydney. I'm not here to travel, I'm here to go to school - South Bank is a glorious place to study though.

I'm not ruling out the idea of skydiving and motorcycles - I'm just ruling out the cigarette after the fact.


I went home after southbank to this:

I started thinking about Austin, the time i was downtown with Friends of Lizzy. I thought about the experience at the hospital. How bat-shit crazy it was. How much I learned and how many amazing people I met. I realized that everyone I worked with praised my efforts to get into UQ, and didn’t question my goals.  I remember what we went through, the codes, the craziness, the fecal filled bathtubs or the urine...the damn urine. 


I raise my beer to those amazing people…

Katie, Kent, Joesph, Kari, Rachel, Alex, Lou, Connie, Ann, Joan, Alfredo, Liz, Carol, Mallori, Chris D, Bobby, Blake, Stephanie, Sandy, Kimberly, Michelle, Rey, Catie, Tony, Sue, Kim, Leo, Cecilia, Deb, Jim, Roberta, Sherry, Bethany, Lindsay, Troy,  Meya, Cris Bukalew, Gloria, Flor, Security John, Ashley, Amy in Admissions, Glen, Elizabeth, Nola…

I raised my beer to…Mike Moore.

Over these beers I’m having tonight with this glorious Australian night and BB King, I thought about all those names above and how I was able to pull it off...how all of you helped me get through it all.

I couldn’t have done it without Jodi Reeseman at AustraLearn. I couldn’t have done it with Texas State (et., al) sending an acceptance letter about 2 years ago. I couldn't have done it without Korea (et., al). I couldn't have done it without Roberta, she gave me a job...

...the 'baby-blues-crew-from-two' pushed me to be more than I thought I was capable of being able to do. Here's to you guys.

My family reminded me why I work so hard, my friends got me through it, and SSC pushed me to become better than i was before. All of those people; from patients, to staff, to family, to the friends got me here. All of you taught me something along the way, challenged me every chance they had, and put me in uncomfortable situations where I had to choose to be tested. You guys are a big part of why I am here. 

I worked a bit harder on school today because of what the 2nd floor taught me. I worked a bit harder today on school today because of what you guys told me I could do - and what Texas State (et., al) said I couldn't do.

Cheers to you guys…I thank all of you.

Live high, ya’ll.

RIP Fo.Kley's: I'm a Sentimentalist, I like to be Reminded.

I lost a pair of sunglasses I bought about a year-and-a-half ago in Bali today. They died well.

I lost them on the same side of the Pacific Ocean as I bought them, though, they have been to 3 different contents since I've got them.

They were with me from Notre Dame, to a certain corporate coffee shop. From Busan, to codes on 3...to Brisbane. They meant a lot to me, but, so does doing really well in school which starts next week. They helped me learn my priorities, my principles.

- have fun
- deliver the best
- do the right thing
- take ownership
- know what time it is
- keep focused

...know what time it is.  It is not time for a code on 3, it is time for school-ing; to deal with code on 3.

Today, I bought a new pair of sunglasses which will hopefully never see me be exhausted after codes. They never see me write personal statements, or, take a ten-minute break from said corporate coffee shop, as the ones before them did.

These lenses will watch me quit smoking.

These sunglasses will likely be part of my motorcycle helmet too...they will be with me as I'm exhausted from school. They will likely get taken out by a wave one day at the Gold Cost - just like the last pair. They'll be with me as I consider the idea of a PhD - and a half-a-mil in debt.

They are (at the end of the day), an inanimate object. They are just sentiment to those codes on 3, those bikes, those kiddos on 2, or those arcane objectives I had to get to this point in my life. 

Things are just things, and, money is just money (McConnell, S., 2009).

My motorcycle key still rests on my backpack from when I rode it. I still have the Red Sox hat Lexi bought me from 2008. My board shorts that Kendall sat on still are in my possession. The things I have through this journey remind me of where I am, and, what I needed to do to get here.

Here (read: MA in Counselling - fucking finally).

There is nothing better than running codes in a Vetnamese necklace. Or, walking around Australia with a camera that took a picture of Stonehenge and the Colosseum in Rome once. There is nothing better than a victory dance; even if it means raising a beer to a pair of sunglasses.

There's nothing better than having beers in Australia, in a pair of scrubs I got in Austin.

It reminds me of where I came from:
- "code gray - 3rd floor PICU."
- 5 shot, 3 pump, soy chai with no-foam?
- "ego, teacher, ego?"

Scrubs, hats, coffee mugs, (et., .al) in Brizzy will remind me of that life / buddies I left in Austin or Mokpo. They will remind me of what I did to earn those pictures I've taken, those beers i had, those cigs I used to smoke, and those times I was done with working towards Brizzy.

Cheers to work finally, working, for me. Cheers to next week - lets do this! Let me adapt the same way I did in Europe, in Asia, and finally, in Australia. Cheers to those sunglasses I'll never see again. To scrubs, to coffee mugs I bought after meeting Coach K. To that lighter after that kid told me they listened to me, or, that hat I'm wearing right now.

Cheers to life - cheers to 'what is next.'


Live High ya'll.

Plans

 

Damn. So, this is where I’ll be going to school. This is where I’ll take my breaks and consider which theoretical approach I’ll use during counseling, study my ass off, and (likely) also where I’ll mull over the idea of getting a PhD.

Here's a bit of campus: this is the Great Court.

 

Through that, is the jungle of UQ

  

This, is on the way out of the psych building.

  

Holy crap: I get to go to school here. 

I got into Brisbane about noon on Tuesday, got in my apartment, and found my way to a coffee shop. My roommates seem like good guys, Mitch (Australian, 18 - who is at a movie), and A.nand (Indian, 28 - below), are sharing my 3-bedroom.

They’re good guys, and Mitch seems very concerned about my transition to Brisbane. He’s told me how to handle the buses, the trains, the cabs, the aborigines, and the tricky-shower. Mitch has lived in Brisbane all his life, and, is excited about getting started in school.

Let's take a walk through the new swamp (read: my apartment). 

This is the area across the street from the bus station...

 

Through the living room:

Onto the massive porch...

The view from the porch...

...and at night.

 

Moving, cross-continental:

From unpacking everything I own: 

 To unpacking everything I wanted - I really need to do laundry :-\

 

 This is the view from my own little balcony outside my room. 

I live in a very accessible city, trains and buses are everywhere. My apartment is right next to a train station, but apparently its only if I’m going downtown. I can hear the rumbling from the train outside my room it until it stops running at midnight. Its kind of a weird comforting sound - like there's always something going on. 

(me thinks that the feeling all grad students have, its like stress to the 8th power).

I live in a the part of town called Toowong, which is kind of the newer-student living area. Not quite built to suit the students, but, almost there. I’m about 20 minutes from the river, which has a ferry called the "city cat" that zig-zags its way from U.Q to downtown – I’m just far away from all of the stops. Brisbane is also packed with many different cultures – I’ve already seen like 47 Koreans, and, there’s a few Iranians sitting next to me.

…praise allah – brudder. (maybe I shouldn’t say that)

There is a coffee shop on every corner, a bank every 20 steps, a pharmacy every-other-store, and a bar every block. Its pretty nice right now – 80 in the shade, but, humidity makes it 90.

My apartment has one A/C in the living room – it doesn’t reach my room.

School is about a 15-minute bus ride, and this kick ass coffee shop is about 10 minutes down the road. Australia doesn’t do Iced-Coffee’s, but I’ve taught my good friend "Jonhno" at this place how to make an Iced-Americano, which got me through Korea.

My apartment has no plates, no blankets, no rugs, nothing to domesticate myself properly. So, no worries mother, I’ve found K-mart. Yes, the classy K-Mart is huge here and is in a massive office building. Unlike everything else, it’s pretty cheap. I bought a $3.00 20 oz Coke there. My coffee I’m drinking (all of 12 ounces) was $4.50.

Speaking of really expensive things...

Orientation is on Feb. 20th, and school starts the week after that. I'm taking 4 classes, and my projected graduation date is November of 2013. My visa expires in March of 2014, so, we'll just play this whole thing by ear.

I didn't realize it when I applied, that I was applying to such a great school - I didn't want to get into my own head when I was interviewed.

I feel absolutely privileged to come here. As if, I did well in my undergrad...got a 4.0, got a 1430 on the GRE, did well in adolescent psychology, and had this whole thing planned all along.

A plan that nothing to do with Korea, with Seton, with Florida State, and all the schools that told me I wasn't good enough to do what I did everyday at the hospital.

The challenge at UQ and beyond is palpable, but is also what makes this it so much more intense.

I cannot wait to start school, to prove those Bobcat, Cougar, & Seminole's (et. al) wrong.

Live High ya'll.

Why I Work: A few Colored Pencils from Randalls

There’s a beer to my right, a victory cigar to my left, and, my bare feet rest ontop of the railing over looking the pacific. Mumford and Sons is interrupted every once in a while by the crashing waves of the pacific ocean. My computer is charged, my Visa is valid, my flight is good, and my apartment in Austin / Brisbane are paid for.

Life is good.

Work is good.

I’m glad those are two different sentences.

Work is very, very, good. Work got me here:

Work was a bit of a pain-in-the-ass to be honest, it wasn’t easy getting here. I think that’s why I chose Laguna for a ‘victory-dance’ over this whole thing.

Speaking of work, there was a kiddo once who was the epitome-of-depressed, and, I decided that I will find a way to make her smile – that was my only goal that day. After an epic-battle of ‘questions’ (which she totally won), I stepped back and realized what her laughter really meant. I realized why I left Korea, and, the bad-assery of that job.

I realised, what Ann (boss lady) really meant when I left report for the last time...

(Me): “teach a man to fish,”

(Ann): “…exactly.”

I drink to you Yosuf.

I realised what I define as real-success. Not the beaches in Nam or Laguna, the beers in Moes or at Baby Blues. Its not the cars or bikes I drive, the hotels I have, or, the type of sunglasses I have. Hell, its not even about that crap-paycheck from the hospital for that matter. Its about what I want, where I want to go, and what I want to do for these kiddos.

Even if success is as simple as ‘questions.’

Game of Questions: literally, passing a ball back-and-forth between people and only asking questions. You cannot answer, if you do, you lose. Kiddos loved it.

To me defining success was not by the material objects, xbox's, trips to laguna, motorcycles, or skydiving trips…it was simple stuff that we did, that added up, to a successful ride through a psyche hospital. Even if its as simple as working for the patient, not, working for the hospital. As simple as a few colored pencils from Randalls, a bar of soap, or a number off a cell phone. Its as simple, to me, as a smile for the epitome-of-depressed kid.

All the while, mind you, working to get to a graduate degree at a school in Australia – but, not getting paid for it. Working, 77 hours one week at a mental hospital, and, finding an apartment in a different continent (everything.involved.with.uq., et. al).

Her smile was well worth those 77 hours.

This whole Laguna trip was expensive, and, well worth every dollar. It reminded me of why I'm going to school, got me in the right-mindset to leave the country (again), and I think I just needed a sense of peace with it all. A sense of peace, a confident-mind, a feeling that "everything is gonna to be alright." I think, I needed, what this monk has:

Right, so, what’s next?

Laguna Beach for 2 days, a 13 hour flight to Auckland, New Zealand…then a 3 hour flight to Brisbane. These 2 days have been exactly what I wanted them to be. I got in on Sunday around 3, took those pictures, then met the local Laguna crowd. Not as, Laguna-ey (read: douchey), as I thought they would be – MTV must have photo-shopped that high school in.

…not that I’ve ever seen that show, or, anything.

I’m ready to start school, I’m anxious for this flight. I’m excited and nervous, I’ve got what I call “skydive legs," where I can feel my heart-beating in the soles of my feet. Its time to do this already! I feel like I’ve been standing in the tunnel to run out on the field, in my own Super Bowl I call a graduate degree. Bah, lets do this!

What’s next, already!?!

I start school on the 3^rd of March, and Orientation begins on Feb. 20^th. I wanted a month in Brisbane, I decided on one more week at work and only 3 weeks before it all starts – it was worth it. I’m gonna miss that job. And that week payed for this hotel.

I’ve got 4 hours to kill, I just want the damn ball already!

Live high, ya’ll.

Humble Pie tastes like a Mocha Frapachino

Right, which would you rather have?

(ME): I’m from Texas, I lived in Korea last year, and I got into graduate school while in Indonesia, I live in Austin, and I’m moving to Australia in February.

(UT-Director of the Counseling Department): Woah.

(ME): Yah, its been a messed up year.

I didn't say 'messed.'

This is a bench right outside of the hospital.
I would take a break between moving to Australia (read: work) and my job, which I get paid for.

...thank god for iced coffee.

Right, so November 19^th 2011, I finally translated all the experiences I had in Korea into this same text box I type into now.

I found it impossible to explain the sheer, adrenaline, I had flying down a black diamond in Muju, riding across the country, teaching little munchkins, getting into graduate school in Australia, all while having one of the most amazing life experiences of all time.

It was hard to explain what it was like shifting gears on a bike, through a keyboard.

Needless to say I’ll do my best this time, but, without the motorcycle part.

November 2010: Moved back to Texas, found 3 denial letters from American Universities. Moved in with my sister, brother-in-law, and niece, then started the arcane and ambigious task of moving to Australia.

December 7^th, 2011, Got an email: Notre Dame has canceled all American financial aid. Right, so guess I’ll look at Wells Fargo (read: all banks) loans. Basically that one email meant that there was no way I could afford school, and, consequently, everything I worked for in Korea has slipped through my hands.

I got the email that I was accepted into Notre Dame right here: It was September of 2010.

Bali, Indonesia.

January 2011: Started my internship at a Psychiatric Hospital, worked at Starbucks to afford the internship - from teaching English in Korea...to working at Starbucks.

From: $2,300 USD / month, paid apartment, motorcycle, teaching 4 hours a day to...

to: ...starbucks, and as per 3 phone calls, Australia in Feb of 2011.

We’ll get to those phone calls later. But, I did get to meet an infomercial 'celebrity.'

Back to working at starbucks, (starbucks, read): humbling.

“I’m sorry that you’ve got to move to Korea so that you can move to Australia” I was restocking Apple juices sometime during my tenure at starbucks and I realised what it meant to go to Notre Dame of Australia: debt, and a lot of it.

Korea would have financed the loan, 55 a year isnt bad, but, its hard to take a loan with a 12.23% interest rate and 1000 dollar a month payments. Everything I worked so hard for in Korea is now, gone.

April 23^rd, 2011: Quit starbucks. With, 5 days notice, which is why my boss got a 20 dollar gift-card to Specs.

April 28^th, 2011: Started working at Psyche Hospital as a Clinical Assistant (CA). I work with Psyche patients; adults, adolescents, and children. Line staff like me (CA’s) have by far the most patient interaction out of the entire hospital due to the never ending paperwork and inordinate amount of responsiblities with Doctors, Nurses, and Social Workers.

July 8^th, 2011: Applied to the University of Queensland and 4 other schools in Australia.

July 27^th, 2011: Denied, Edith Cowan University. (that was a bit quick, no?)

August 22^nd, 2011: My Unit closes due to budget problems. I start working with kiddos.

September 2011: Denied, La Trobe University.

September 28^th, 2011: Inspired by the day I left for Korea 2 years prior, I decided to step up a bit at work and I want to run a social-work style group, but with out actually counseling these kiddos as the Social Workers do. I was going to run an educational group, just like I did in Korea, except these kiddos know English, makes my life a whole lot easier.

I remember it so well, I walked into that group with the same mentality as I did when I was in Korea – I’m just gonna wing it. Here’s my topic, and my lesson plan on an (actual) napkin. Those were usually the best classes I’ve ever taught, funny how it transpired to America.

October 4^th, 2011: Accepted, UQ. (it took 987 emails to get accepted, damn near 1,000 emails).

December 22^nd, 2011: Got my VISA, my Apartment, and bought a flight to Brisbane.

Exhaustion:

Working at a Psyche Hospital, and, getting to graduate school was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Don't forget, I taught English to Koreans, who didn't know English. That was pretty tough too.

Right. So. What’s next?

This was hard. Really hard. It took so many answers I didn’t have the question for, it took many trips to the University of Texas' International Admissions Department to talk to the right person. This took 2 years.

It took, many coffees, many countries, many beers, and a few ‘victory massages.’ It was hard working at Starbucks after living in Korea.

It was a pain in the ass to be honest.

I had three questions when I got into Notre Dame back in September of 2010, on the freaking beach in Bali.

I needed to know:

(1) Can I come back to America and Counsel?

(2) Can I get a PhD after? Will any American school recognize this degree?

(3) Can I get funding.

I needed to know if I could move to Australia, and let everything I worked for in Korea mean something. The upshot?

…2/3.

I can in-fact come back and counsel with a degree from Notre Dame, I can get a PhD, but I cannot get funding. 1 year, and, 5 months of work on that ended on this:

(Wells Fargo, et. al): “sir, I’m saying that if you take out a 60,000 dollar loan with us, than you will be paying $1000 a month, plus 12.23% interest, for 25 years. It's a bad idea, I'm sorry."

It has been a crazy ass year, and it went through many different days and life-changing phone calls.

I never thought I'd have these opportunities, to move to Australia for a degree, or to move to South Korea and teach English.

I remember going through all of the tasks required for this opportunity and just being exhausted beyond belief - but knowing its time to go to the hospital for a 3:00 to 11:00 shift. Its been a crazy year.

Back in April 2011, I remember looking down Burnett towards Mopac at the starbucks I worked at, and, I talked my self out of moving to Korea. I talked myself out of it because I knew at any day I would get a job at Psyche Hospital, or, get into school, or find a loan to the school I was already accepted to.

I didn't want to commit to a year in Korea if I was going to school in 11 months. It was a tough decision, every latte i made or trashbag i took out changed my mind just a little bit more...

I had a conversation a few times about it with people who I trust:

One of my best friends called Todd asked me the other day if I’m running from something – I assume he meant 'running from' a commitment to a continent (or a country for that matter, haha). I assume he meant that I was running away from growing up.

I didn't really know how to answer him at the time, but, another time...My brother-in-law said the jury is still out with this whole thing and I responded with:

"the kids I work with beg to differ"

My Dad validated it all today and said he was “damn proud” during burgers at the elusive Elevation Burger.

I called my Mom when I got the email that I was accepted into school and my iPod was on shuffle. "Make Me Proud" by Friends of Lizzy came on while I was talking to her, and, its almost as if Clay wrote that song for that one moment.

My Boss cried when I left.

My other Bosses on a different unit took me out drinking the other night and one of them, Kent, gave me an “everything will be alright” pep-talk. He tole me, "I've got this," and warmed up my cold feet. Its just weird being able to do something like this: move to freaking Australia for grad school. Its weird having these opportunities...and a chance to pass some sort of torch

#bad.ass.moment.at.baby.blues.on.my.last.day.at.work

Its weird to be into such a good school:

The University of Queensland is ranked 48^th in the world overall and, 26^th in the world in Psychology. The University is on the coast of Australia in a city of 2,043,185 Australian's and many foreigners. Notre Dame taught me what I want; to move to Australia. SAMA, the Hospital, and a social-worker-friend of mine, taught me the difference between want-and-will:

Story time: Said social-worker friend of mine had me run a group with the kiddos one time which was based on want-vs-will.

Basically: I want to play for the Dallas Cowboys, but, I am not willing to put in the effort to get there.

Apparently I am for Australia.

I want to move to Australia to get this degree and learn more, and, expand the body-of-work Obama speaks so highly of. I want to go get this degree and print out all those denial letters, for my corner office at UT someday.

Remember that list UQ is on? The one which says its 48th in the world overall, and 26th in the world Psyche? The schools I applied to and was denied from:

- Texas State,

- Houston,

- Pepperdine,

- UTSA,

- San Diego State,

- Indiana University – South Bend,

- North Texas,

- IUPUI,

- Florida Atlantic,

- James Madison,

- Florida State...

…aren’t on the list UQ is on.

Persistence: tastes like an iced coffee.

Victory: tastes like a shiner bock.

Live-high ya'll.

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